+.+

又是到了夜晚…
奇怪的是竟然不能入眠… *.*
星期四要回槟城了… 超想家叻~ ^^
其实回家并不见爽到那里去..
可是有些朋友很享受那种感觉~
回去又没有人想要见…
幸好在槟城没有男友… 不然的话..
我一定做PBSM… 哈哈…
一定在回家那儿花了不少巴士费…
但偶尔回家看看家人也好啦~
好就没见到妈妈了叻…. ^^ 期待叻…
最近花了不少钱… 不懂花在那里咯~ 惨咯…
现在,没有人控制我… 有点怕会花到破产… ^^
以前总算有人会唠叨我… 怀念叻~
最近变乖了… 不会去想一些”没用” 的东东….
不会去想了… 其实不想去想了…
毕竟之前的我想太多了… 笨蛋啦我….
身边还有这样多朋友陪… 以前的东东让它过去吧…
觉悟了: 假如你刻意去逃避,它就会不断留在你左右….
是真的也~ 让它顺其直然吧…. 有 point 吧 ~ ?
所以啊….. 船到桥头自然直吧~ ^^

Date : 19/1/10 & 1.01am

changlun 的义学班

心血来潮… 我和蓉蓉打算去changlun的义学班..
昨晚大约七点多.. 我和蓉蓉从北大出发…
不一会儿…我们就到达那儿了…
丽娴和俊雄,丽琴等等.. 我想他们很早就到达那儿…
一起去吃煮炒…
好久没有出去吃了 …^^ 幸福叻..
很享受我们的晚餐…
回到佛教会.. 哈哈…
聊了一下.. 各有各的忙…. 忙些什么呢??
各自看戏咯….嘻嘻…
我和其中一个学姐看 “ 下一站,幸福 ”
一向来很少看台湾片的我… 那晚竟然会看…
我想那部戏蛮不错吧….
但我看了一级半… 就放弃了…
我之所以不想看.. 是因为很不实际…
全都是骗人的…假如换回以前的我…
一定会开始梦幻了….
但现在不会了…我要的不是梦幻.. 而我要的确是,
“真实” ….
不想呆在梦幻世界里头… ^^
十二点多… 我就上床睡觉了~
很累~ *.z
整晚的睡眠不够好… #.#
惨~
隔天…我们七点多就起床….
冲洗之后.. 我们就结伴去吃早点了…
我们来到一家咖啡室…
很简漏…
原来我体会到乡下的环境…
一向来都在城市的我…
身边都是 “ 好的”…
可是今天我看到的.. 竟不是以前我所看到….
虽然他们是在乡下… 可是我却不会因此而看底他们…
我所看到的… 那一家咖啡室的大门竟然被一栋桥挡住…
所以我们要进那间茶室… 是要从小小的路进去的…
你可以想像…. 那是怎样的茶室…
选好位置坐了之后… 我们就开order 了… ^^
我叫了 “干捞面”… 原来吉安打的干捞面竟然是云吞面…
哈哈… 又学到了~
在等的其间… 我又开始留意了… 我目一直都停留在 “对我生财” 这四个字…
刚好这四个字写在大门前面的桥下…
后来senior 讲 “假如你家面前有一座桥挡住,你会怎么办?”
我想我会很生气吧~
但没法啦…毕竟政府是最大的咯… 为了*** 会牺牲老百性…
我想他们一定抱着 “听天由命” 的念头吧… 要看得开吧~
不久我们就开始用餐了~
付完钱之后… 我们就回去佛教会…
九点正式开课…
那天正式体会到吉打的小朋友~
很顽皮….真的非常…
对一向喜欢小朋友的我… 那天起就开始对小朋友有了恐惧~
&.&…
我想他们都来自不同背景的小朋友吧~
我senior 讲… 有些是来自单亲家庭,有些父母去了很远工做,一年只回来一次…
想一下… 他们是多么空虚,多么可怜…
说真的… 小朋友是多么的需要父母亲的疼爱….
所以啊… 未来的准爸爸,准妈妈… 要好好加油了咯… ^^
愿天下的小朋友都幸福快乐,快高长大…
祝福他们吧~
把你们的关怀献给他们吧… ^^

Date : 15/01/10 & 03.33pm

HATE

since i saw the pic..
really sad,sad n sad...
dono hw to describe it oso...
dono who can share wif me bout this...
haiz...
i hope i dun go bec to penang in future~
hate the place.. hate the ppl at there...
all r liar...
included the ppl i most believe in the world~
HATE HATE HATE...
bt i love my family la.. ^^

........

你问我现在什么时刻..
我想…应该是大家在约周公的时刻吧~
最近似乎有写部落的习惯..
有时太忙了…没空写了..
原来写部落总比讲出来还要好..还要舒服…
心事还蛮多一下.. 不懂要跟谁讲…
我不会完全相信一个人,我想不会超过八十巴仙吧~
不懂为什么… 我想应该想要保护自己吧~
刚刚收到坏消息.. 我想谁都不想要吧~
他的妈妈有癌症..
听到这个消息…我真的感觉得到,我的心跳得是多么地快..
我紧张? 我害怕? 我担心? 还是我可怜她?
我想都有吧…
他的妈妈之前对我是多么的好…
想当初..我生病时.. 她还照顾我..煮粥给我…
呵护有加~
但现在她有事了… 我竟然还留在这里…
我是不是很没用….
她星期三动手术了…
想当初..我爸爸就是这样一动手术就走人了…
害怕听到”动手术”…
我想伯母应该不会像我爸爸这样…
她看来会长命白岁的福气…
看吧.. 假如下个星期有回家的话就去探望她吧~
我也不晓得有勇气去吗….
很怕她会不喜欢我叻~
愿不会咯~
但我不敢跟我妈妈讲…
怕她不喜欢我去他那儿….
毕竟有不好的事情发生过….
晚上锟他打给我…
教我很多的东东….
感情的啦.. 人生的道理啦….
哈哈… 谢谢咯….
不愿天长地九…. 只愿曾经拥有…
真的是这样吗??
我觉的你很勇敢…
反也我很,脆弱,很怕受伤害….

Date : 12/1/10 & 1.30am

~寂莫~

宁静的夜晚..独自的对着无生命的你..想想现在的我是不是多么的寂莫~
我无法想象我会沦落到这个憧况~
这种情况之前我是应该不会,不...不是应该,但是,是决对不会遇到的事...
变了..一切都变了..
什么都变了..我要的从此不再属于我的了~
为什么老天爷要这样对我..
不要给我的就不要施舍给我..
我并不是说放就能放的人..我不想再要这种感受...
真的很不好受...
一次,一次,又一次你让他走到我身边..
关心我,帮忙我,保护我..
这种东东我通通不要...
我大了..不像一年前的我..只会依赖着人..
想想觉得自己以前真的很没用~
自从那次受伤了,开始变了..
变了很自力,很防备,比从前低调,无可否认的..
变得成熟了很多,很多..
想的东东不会像之前这样~
那么天真... 还有不会那么想受到保护了..
你让我们分开或许是你的按排..
以前的我一直都会埋怨..
为什么非要这样不可..
可是现在的我不会了~
我知足了...
你献给我的,我都曾经拥有过了..
我懂得感恩,感谢..
谢谢你给了我不赖的童年..
没有了他,我想以前的我绝对不会知道什么是开心..
虽然..
我还是想要挽回..
可是你把我们缘份的纸给剪掉了,..
我懂了..开始懂了..
不会再去勉强..不会再去制造机会...
除非有要事..不然我决不会主动找他了..
每次看到他..
真的很不舍的离开...
我承认..我心中还是还有他...
之前我以为要放就放..
原来...
四年多的感情要放还是真的很不容易~
人毕竟是有感情 ...
习惯了每天跟他讲电话...
现在的我开始不习惯 ...
没办法啦...有空就打电给朋友咯~
时间吧...让时间冲淡一切吧...
让这种感觉消失吧...
上个星期在槟城的时候...
他竟然有办法联络到我...
真的很惊讶...
可是我很大方..跟他聊了几句,喝了一些饮料...
其实当时我很怕...
我怕我又再一次出事...
不敢了...不要了...不想了...
怕了..懂了..
哭了..当晚真的哭了..很无助...
不懂要怎样了..
他的画面不断的出现在我脑海里..
我是不是很笨,很笨的那种..
世界上没有其他男生了吗?
原来.. 爱到了就是这样... 这段感情我放得太多太多了...
伤害我的一切一切...
这种伤...应该是我这一生当中,会是最伤的一次 ..
之后我不会了...
学会了保护自己...
他说明年的情人节想要和我渡过..
我保持沉默...不想要回答他..
可是...
我不懂得怎样选择...
每年都有他..包括去年...
突然没有他...
能习惯吗?就是不懂得...
看先啦...
那天应该还有朋友约吧...
明年的情人节..
我就会以朋友的身份陪朋友渡过吧,包括他~
就只是"朋友"...
目前,男生给了我阴影,但我不会克意去逃避爱的来临~
只想要和喜欢的人渡过每一天...^^

Date : 8/1/10 & 12.16am

T.T & ^.^

Pass the day jz like tis ~
ntg is special ~
really boring stay at uum...
hw r my fen at penang nw..??
sure pass wif full happiness ~
recently mood vry down...
always appear the moment wif him..
hw to 4get it?? i oso dono...
when the lecture is going on,...
suddenly i can think of tht moment oso...
no hope wan to meet him again...]
bt i wont force it happen...
if 1 day v still meet up...
i hope v still can chat as b4~
dono can do it??
2ml is holiday~ no place to go...
jz stay at hostel la~ sien...
nw sch reopen...
many text book mz buy~ sure mz spend a lot ~
sob...
pok kai d la....
T.T
tis sem i was tk 6 sub ~
4 sub i same wif my ex-coursemate...
2 sub luckliy i gt fen acc...
really very happy...
BWFF gt lay xia, man man n so on acc...
BKAF gt wei ling n some fen frm tnb acc...
really thx god ~
luckily gt them to acc me...
so happy when think bout it...
xneed so lonely when attend the class ~
^^
k la... bb

Date : 4/1/2010 & 3.43pm

My day 3~

2/1/2009
Last nite jz oi 4 hours~
2day im bec to uum ~
No hv any excited when rch there..
10am bus ~
8.30pm d out frm house …
T.T
As usual…
The bus arrived at 10am…
I rch uum round 12.++pm…
Sien ~
Start clean my things..
Walao…a lot of things mz clean ~
Very tired…
4get to eat oso ~
Jz eat roti as my lunch~
Hungry ~
Bt tired plan wan to oi b4 going to ko-k later ~
So nvm la… let hungry la~ T.T
After bath d 2.10pm ~
Jz nap 30 min nia ~
Tired ~
Go Ko-k as usual ~
The lecturer quite nice ~ ^^ luckly …
2nite mz oi early d…
2ml start gt class d …
Sien…
2 class no fen acc…
Hopefully meet up my fen la ~ ^^
Nw I paln wan go oi d…
^^
Nite ya ~

Date : 2/1/2009 & 9pm ….

My day 2~

1/1/2010
Early in morning I was wake up… Jz oi 3 hours nia~ 5am -8am…
Haiz….
When wake up start clean my things 4 preparing bec to uum until 1pm….
Then I was make an appointment wif “ Topper Saloon”…
Redo hair again… lolz…waste my 3 hours .. swt~
When rch hom d 4pm…
Continue my day wif Ming…
at the 1st ~
V go “tian xin zhi jia” near QB there eat tim sum…
And then v go shopping ~
Waa,,…
He really spends a lot ~ Buy a lot ~
Haha….
Huh… me??
Haha… din buy anything … lolzzz…+.+
Round 9 .30pm v was bec… when rch hom d 10pm..
Pasar mlm there u can c the ppl such as “ant” ~
Lolzzz.
A lot ppl la ~
I go there buy sum food ~ Yummy yummy ~ ^^
When I bec hom, I received call frm K…
V chat n chat…
I was meet him again…
Go hv sum drink at Komtar Wang ~
N v oso hv sum food la…
bt wat I wish to drink bt din hv.. vry bad luck ~
maybe too late d ~ 12am..
hoho ~
at last I drink Ice Honey Lemon ~ ^^
i think v chat round 1 n half hours…
lolzzz….
Dono chat wat v chat oso…
The moment I really scare start luv him again ~
Really vry scare…
He was make my heart smile at tht momnet~
Long time din saw him d…
Miss him a lot ~
i wan to tell him…
Bt din say it to him…
Jz gv a hug ~
The hug really warm 4 me~
long time din hv tht feel d ~ ^^
Around 3pm v oni say good bye to each other ~
Hope him dun smoke n drink so much wine d~
Although hate him bt hope he healthy everyday n evryime~
He call me contact him 2ml when go bec to uum~
Bt I don1 to do so ~
Bcz I noe wat I wan nw …
really nt him~
he request “BEC” bt I don1 ~I noe nw wat I wan, he sure can gv me ~
I love a ppl nt bcz of hw rich he is, hw clever he is, bt is hw much he luv me~
V talk a lot of things tht pass v pass b4~
V really mz “Menghargai” ppl who bside YOU nw…
dun regret if 1 day he/she leave YOU~

Date : 2/1/2010

my day 1~

31/12/2009
Wake up quite late round 10pm…
Plan acc mom go shopping later ~
We go jusco n tesco…
I was buy something…. ^^
Spend a lot too …T.*
When bec d 4 sumthing…
Help bro do sum of his assignment~
7pm I start prepare 4 2 nite..
Bt b4 going countdown wif fen…
I go saloon do appointment 1st…
Ma huan nia~
Round 9.++ I oni out…
V plan go find kun n his gf…there hv a concert…
Bt I dun hv interest bout it…
plus too many ppl at there d…
We hv a look at shopping centre ~
At last v go hv sum drink near QB there/…
Hou,he very geng…
He do a special magic show 4 me n Ming…
I like the magic very~
Really nice…
NICE ~
Hopefully I can c it next time…
Some more he promise he will do it 4 me 4 next time.. really thz…
Bt dono mz wait until when d…bcz I wan bec to JUNGLE..
Sob ~
They drink sum wine… bt I no brave to touch anymore… ^^
Hopefully I can do it as well ~
v sat at there round 3.++am…
~~silent….
Oni few walkers…
When I oi…
The clock was show 5am d…
Geng ~
Nite la every1…

Date : 1/1/2010 & 10am

二零零九的平安夜~

不知不觉又一年了~
去年的平安夜,感觉很好玩,很期待那天的来临~
前几年还会为了引接那天的到来,特地去买新衣..
可是今年却不同了...
我想暂时没有特别人物陪我渡过吧~
不但没有期待...反而拒绝异性朋友的约会...
想想我是不是开始对异性反感了~
不会吧~
这是我的第一份圣诞节礼物~
是麒文送的~
真的很抱歉没用送你...
(因为没想到还有人会送我礼物)...
thanks o~
还有其他的礼物~
志光和明送的。。。
圣诞节快乐

25/12/2009 - 23.30
谢谢噢

My days~

recently wrk until very exhausted~
lolz...
this holiday really vry bored n din do any things...
no study oso... no special thing to do oso~
this sun wan bec to uum d~
so sien!
mz go bec there ...
dono do wat better...
i meet him last 2 days...
v jz go have a supper...
last nite finally he told the thing that i wan ask him long time ago~
he 1st time told me the truth...
bt i din happy oso...
bcz he was doing sum bad thing...
the thing i think i don1 say it out la..
bcz tht is his secret ma...
recently v contact bec...
bt i never think wan bec to bside him again...
v jz fen~
"v really jz fen"...
act can we??
i oso nt sure... mayb after i bec to uum, then everything is ok d gua,...
hopefully la~ ^^
27th i wan bec to jungle d lo...
mz study hard 4 my next sem d...
Sem1's result nt so good nia...
haiz~
Nite~

Date : 23/12/2009 & 12.19am

Unlucky plz leave me~

jz working as usual ~
when im bec...
hampir accident~
really very dangerous,...
thought bec oso scary...
next time when driving really mz becareful d~
T.T!
Recently gt "xiao Di Di yuan" lo~
haiz... thy c me only 17 or 18 years old nia...
i seen so small meh~ HAiz...
mz happy or wat... dono~
4 ppl d...
haiz...gai nia...
nw dun think wan to start a new relationship yt...
act i mz tell BN honestly d...
call him dun wait me d...!! bt....
nw i no feel wif him d la~
headache~
Date : 16/12/2009 & 11.55pm

ME~

recently working until very tired... Very tired~
who can cum to acc me??
haiz...
nw raining...very heavy~HEAVY
lonely hide at room write diary~ very cold...COLD..
no ppl acc, no ppl pity, no ppl understand...
y ??
suddenly feel very lonely...
my fen-lonely long time din cum to find me d~
y wan cum to find me...??
T.T
plus hear the lonely song...
realy pity~
miss the pass time~ really wan...
bt nw oni noe "menghargai"..
izit too late d... i think so~
haiz...nvm d la.... v bo "Yuan" gua~
recently "gan Qing" make me very fan...
haiz...
dono hw to settle...
bt let it gone 1st la...
still gt 2 week Uni reopen d,,,
lazy bec to there d la...
hate tht Uni nw...HATE...
nobody let me gt mood bec, bt i miss my coursemate n my roomate... really wan...
dono y suddenly will think of them nia~
they all gv me a lot of happiness...
^^
bt still dun think wan bec although miz them...
hehe...
they oso dun think wan to bec rite~hehe!!
Nitez la~
Date : 15/12/2009 & 12am

grandfather's birthday~

last fri is the day i most busy...
busy my things start frm the early morning...
very very tired...
i done my JPA doc in 1 day...
can say half day...
around 3++ i go shopping n buy sumthing wif fen...
i off day i spends round rm8oo.. 96!
1 call...
2 call...
3 call...
4 call....
call me go eat dinner wif grandfather ~
haizzz.....
bad!!
at the last celebrate grandfather's birthday wif my family~
happy~ long time din do gathering wif whole family members
d unless during CNY,...
(Photo will b upload next time... cz sleepy d~)
Date : 13/12/2009 & 11.30pm

miss u~

long time din saw u d...
long time din talk wif u d...
long time din sms wif u d...
long time din share my things wif u d...
i jz noe tht i miss u so so so much...

SINGLE's LIFE..

i was working round 1-1/2 weeks d...
2day working as usual ...
sien...
recently gt "tao hua yun"
hehe...
dono is good or bad...
1 of the guy vry shy wan n funny..
haha...cute...^^
another 1 is small than me wan...
dono hw many years old lo...
bt both of them oso nt suit me la.... ^^
mine wan i wan the age is big than me 2-4 years wan...
more "an quan gan "
hahaa...~
haiz...
bt the bad things is he told all staf at there he wan to chase me...
cham la...
make me famous at there d la~
sob...
fri is grandfather's birthday..
plan wan to present a cake 4 him...
hehe...
chrismas dono gt wat function bo...
takkan wan boring stay at hom meh...
lollzzz...
so sien ~
hopefully gt function la...
i don1 b the lonely gal la````
god help me...
recently i wrk till very tired...
no much time to spend 4 my holiday~
swt...
k la...
when free only share my story to u all la... ^^
good night ya ~
Date : 09/12/2009 & 11.54pm

last fri i finally meet him d~
i really cant control myself to think of him..
y?
yy?
yyy?
y i so stupid...i oso dono...
that day is the day i most happy since last 3 months...
although the time is short...bt i appreciate it~
bcz its too late..so v jz go tesco to buy sumthing~
v go to c LCD TV,n sum r special...
then he buy sum food 4 me..
thx,,...although i don1...
long time no c u d..
u look tired n gt sadness,..
i no brave to ask wat happen to u...
jz hope god will bless u ~
in front of u, i was show that im very happy,...
bt act im nt...
im lonely n sadly~
bt 4ever i wan u to c me im the most happy...
although v r break...
bt i hope i can turn bec to bside u,...
bt my angel stop me d~
i noe u hope too...
bt really cant like b4 d...
hope u understand...
u date me 4 christmas...
bt i reject u d.. sorry...
bt i really hope i can pass 2gether wif u...
bt i cant to say out...
hope the time will past faster then i can 4get u faster la...
nw i don1 to think bout love d la...
bcz it make me most headache...
sob~
have a nice day la...
Date : 06/12/2009 & 1.17pm

我~

2day dun hv work ~
so stay at hom on9 lo!!
so bored~
recently nth special was happen..
jz pass wif normal's life~
recently gt interest to recognize a guy
who wrk at me there ~
jz interest oni...
dun think the bukan bukan ~
y he attract me??
act i oso nt sure ~
hehe..
jz feel gt wan noe more bout him~
lolzz...
recenly keep fit...
at nite seldom eat d,
so cant date fen out eating at nite d lo ..
sob ~
bt 2ml gt a dinner...
eat bit bit can d lo ~
if nt fat fat d liao !!
^^... me tam chia wan ... later sure cant tahan...
o ya,i decided wan buy a hp...
bt dono which mode is nice..
lollzzz...headache ~
ok la...
nth special wan to say d la ~
bb ... c ya ~

boring day ~

again is a new day...
tis two day noneed work...
very free so on9 at home...
bcz of i was sick, so cant attend many fen's gathering...
miss them so much..
yesterday can tahan... i was gv him a msg..
v chat round 1 hour..
angel fight wif devil... at the first devil was win,...
mean i wan go to meet up n see him..
bt at last tahan d...lolzzz...
really complicated lo me~
so deep!
haiz...jz heard his voice oso can d la~
i jz noe he can pass his life wif happily then i was happy...
really miss him..bt no brave to tell him,...sob!
yesterday n now the devil was call me bec to bside him wow...
can i do so??
god, help me plz....
wat should i do....
the angel no energy to fight wif the devil d la~~
suffer n pity angel nia ...
bt i try my best to save angel la...
hope will nt gt bad news frm me la...
if 1 day i really bec to bside him...
alot of fen sure will say me wan...
mayb they will say me stupid or wat laa...
depands la...
bt i relly cant put down him la...
4 n half years de " gan qing" u think so easy to put down meh...
i hear frm him...
he nt 100% put down me yt/...
haizz...wat should i do leh??who can tell me??
2ml gt work d...sure no time to write blog d la...
c when free i oni update my blog la...
Bye bye ya~
Date: 29-11-2009 & 12.39pm

无聊~

无所事事地呆在家...
星六晚不可能呆在家吧!
但这就是实事...
在家上网咯,还能做么...
无聊到...这两天没工...闷到...
但生病还是乖乖呆在家吧...
妈妈做工...没人跟我聊...
只好跟你聊咯!
他现在好吗??
刚刚听到他好像发生了一些事情...
但我不能帮他了...
只能替你加油好了...
好啦..
要去休息了~